"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper."
"If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark."
"Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf."
"An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing."
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. "
"They've finally come up with the perfect office computer.If it makes a mistake,it blames another computer."
"Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak."
"Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children."
"There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side."
"Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you're finished. "
"It's always darkest before dawn So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. "
"If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?"
"You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark? "
"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,dishonesty is the second-best policy."
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
